Comments on: The Autobiography of Cold Harbor Orphanage http://www.paperninja.net/archives/97 Artwork, etc. Fri, 11 Nov 2011 19:54:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: リチャード http://www.paperninja.net/archives/97/comment-page-1#comment-119 リチャード Sun, 23 Sep 2007 04:53:38 +0000 http://www.paperninja.net/http:/www.paperninja.net/archives/2007/writing/104/#comment-119 Myriad little polishing issues abound, although thankfully no more gross errors of spelling or punctuation than anybody would get from typos. Main thing to watch out for, that I noticed, was speech attribution. For example: 'The drivers hopped off of their perches and began unloading boxes from the back of the carriages. “These are the last of them, straight off the train,” she said' -In this case, "she" technically refers back to "the drivers," although it's clear that that's not actually the case. I also found something about the voice, especially the dialog, to be distinctly stylized; it remains to be seen how this works with the overall mood. Chapter zero seems a particularly bad time to try to make any definitive remarks about content, so I shan't. Myriad little polishing issues abound, although thankfully no more gross errors of spelling or punctuation than anybody would get from typos. Main thing to watch out for, that I noticed, was speech attribution. For example:
‘The drivers hopped off of their perches and began unloading boxes from the back of the carriages.
“These are the last of them, straight off the train,” she said’
-In this case, “she” technically refers back to “the drivers,” although it’s clear that that’s not actually the case. I also found something about the voice, especially the dialog, to be distinctly stylized; it remains to be seen how this works with the overall mood.

Chapter zero seems a particularly bad time to try to make any definitive remarks about content, so I shan’t.

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